Not What You Think…

Today’s Conversation in Question…

Corvette-Crazy: “Oh! That’s beautiful!”

Make-It-So-Mike: “I’ve seen better.”

Corvette-Crazy: “Oh no! That is one sexy beast there! I think I’m in love. I really want to screw this to the bottom of the table.”

Contrary to first thoughts….this has nothing to do with porn. It has everything to do with switches, routers, and server racks.


Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


I’d like to…


And today’s Conversation in Question….

Corvette-Crazy: “You know what I’d like to do?”

*Make-it-so-Mike and I waiting….*

Corvette-Crazy: “I’d like to strip *long pause* everyone’s access and start over.”

We are so glad he finished that sentence!



Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k



And today’s Conversation in Question….

Me: “Hey, Corvette-Crazy, do you remember where you were when Mt. St. Helen’s erupted?”

Corvette-Crazy: *Blank Stare*

Me: “Well?”

Corvette-Crazy: *Blinks quickly, smiles, points at his head….*

Me: “Crap! You weren’t even born yet. None of you were born yet! I despise you all!”

Corvette-Crazy: *Laughs* “Feel old yet?”

I really don’t like this adultier-adult thing. When did it happen? Why did it happen? I need wine!!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


Men Do It All The Time!

Working with men…

Man 1: Are we wearing blue or white Monday?

Man 2: I thought we were going with blue?

Man 1: Oh, I thought we were going white

Man 2: We can do white with a black tie.

Man 1: Wait. Don’t we have ties which match?

Man 2: We do! It’s the pink one.

Man 1: Don’t forget to shave.

Man 2: Will do! See you Monday!

I thought only women did the whole matchy-matchy thing but nope!  I work with weirdos!



Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


Bring on the Wine!

And today’s conversation in question winner goes to….

Me: “Hey, I need some more info on the ticket you submitted.”

User: “I submitted a ticket?”

Me: “Ya, you requested a utilization report….”

User: “Are you sure it was me?”

Me: “Ya, it has your name all over it…”

User: “I haven’t submitted a ticket in ages…”

Me: “Oh, well then, I guess I can close this ticket.”

User: “Well no. If you say I submitted one then I might have. I just don’t remember it.”

Me: “Okay.”

User: “Now….what was the ticket about?”

Me: “A report. Utilization.”

User: “OH! That report!”

And this is where I take up drinking!




Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


The Scariest Thing



What’s the creepiest/downright scariest thing to happen to you or someone else in your hometown/city?

I ran across this question today and it sparked an old memory.

When I was 17 or 18 my dad, and a friend, owned a garage/gas station. One of the guys who worked for them, Frank, was obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. I mean stalking obsessed.

She started dating someone else and Frank went off the rails. Shot her, her mother, and father.

I remember my dad calling me at home and telling me to lock the doors, windows, and to call him if I saw Frank. He didn’t tell me why at the time and I didn’t ask. My dad was always calm and collected so it was out of the norm to hear him a bit panicky.

I later found out about the shooting and Frank driving down our alley trying to hide. The stupid thing was….Frank drove a canary yellow corvette. The police found him rather quickly – Thankfully!

I cannot imagine what his ex-girlfriend went through, or her family, but she is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet.

Have you ever experienced anything like this?

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


The Colorful One…for Reports

Just had a manager from Client Services walk in with a CSR and say….

CSM: “Pull up your code. I don’t care what code. Just pull it up. You know, the colorful one for the reports.”

I pulled up the ‘colorful one for reports’….


She proceeds to ‘explain’ to the CSR what ‘code’ is and what it does.

Apparently, the pluses, and minuses, and commas, and parenthesis all do something. I’m sure it is helpful when you’re answering the phones for billing questions.


Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k



Team Effort

On days the IT team is feeling semi-social we venture forth into the great unknown of Lunch!

Doesn’t sound exciting, I know. Until you realize the average lunch escapade for any IT member involves:

  1. Bringing your own lunch from home – and eating at your desk.
  2. Hitting fast food drive thru as quickly as possible – and eating at your desk.
  3. Keeping snack items stashed away in various drawers and cabinets – and eating at your desk.
  4. Running home to escape people and grab some yummy vittles – and avoiding your desk.

On this, day of days, however, the entire IT team decided we’d harken forth to a local eatery. Traveling, en-pack, to El Torito we left the dark recesses of our caves.

During lunch we unanimously decide there would be no talk of work.

It may not have been the wisest choice.

Our topics of conversation ranged from politics to midget porn to watcher programs to nanny cams to graveyard shifts to computer forensics to Corvette-Crazies latest date….

The poor gentleman who sat across from us spent much of his meal shaking his head. At some points I think he actually wanted to chime in….at others….I’m sure he questioned how our minds work.

Still….a break from the office, with the crew, especially on a Monday, is always welcome.


Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


Pirating in a Whole Other Light…

I woke up in the middle of the night to see the silhouette of a skull and crossbones hovering above me.

It didn’t take long to realize what this means: I am a pirate.

After a little bit longer, I realized that it was not a skull and crossbones, but the shadow of my ceiling fan on the ceiling.

So, um…

1.) Does anyone need an eye patch?

2.) What’s the best way to get rum out of a pillow case?

3.) Can you get a CAT scan on a Sunday?

Have a good day, wherever you arrrrrrgh.


Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k