I’m in one of those moods where I want to do everything and nothing at the same time.

And while I have tried many times over the years to do everything about everything, I have found that trying to do everything about everything will wear you out until you feel like doing nothing.

Interestingly enough, I have also found that you can’t really do nothing about nothing because nothing is just that…nothing. You also can’t do everything about nothing. And there’s nothing you can do about it either. Your wheels just get spun off.

So to get down to business, I have chosen to do nothing about everything. And it’s everything I ever dreamed it would be.

Other than that, I’ve got nothing…


Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


I Just Didn’t Know…

And today’s conversation in question…

User: “Should these groups show on the Groups by Date report?”

Me: “The report pulls groups who are active today. If they’re not active, then no. If you run it for 01/01/2018 they will show up.”

User: “Oh, I did that and it worked. I found the groups. I just didn’t know if there was something wrong with the report and it needed to be fixed.”

The report worked the way it was designed but…”I just didn’t know if there was something wrong with it….”

I’m leaning toward it being a PEBKAC issue. What do you think?


Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


Just Call Me ‘The Machine’

I love the receptionist we have at work. She is the brightest part of my mornings. She does, however, get the most unusual calls. Case in point:

Receptionist:Thank you for calling our company. How may I help you?”

Today’s Caller: “Hello. Are you an answering machine?”

Receptionist: “An answering machine?” 

Today’s Caller: “No, not a machine.”

Machines may be ruling the world but we still like the personal touch around here.  Machine on Regal Receptionist!!



Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


Didn’t Really Do Anything…

Seriousness is not a job requirement…even from the captain of the ship….

From: Hot Wheels Aficionado
Sent: Tuesday, April 2, 2019 2:08 PM
To: Customer Wise One; Me
Cc: President Extraordinaire
Subject: RE: ASAP Deadline: Report Needed

Thanks. Let me know or just CC me when/if you send it to Stacie.

Thanks All (Well, not President Extraordinaire. He didn’t really do anything!)

Hot Wheels Aficionado
Marketing Manager | Phone/Fax | Toll Free


From: President Extraordinaire
Sent: Tuesday, April 2, 2019 2:34 PM
To: Hot Wheels Aficionado ; Customer Wise One; Me
Subject: RE: ASAP Deadline: Report Needed

Correct…..and it will remain that way.




Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k


Programming Virgins

All in a days conversations…..

Me: “It looks like a crime scene in here….”

Boss: “All that is missing is the blood splatter…”

Me: “That can be arranged…”

Boss: “Well….who do you propose we sacrifice?”

Me: “Typically, a virgin….”

Boss: “Can you program that..?”

Me: “No, the code for that was broken long ago….”

I wonder if the new AI sex dolls are considered virginal until utilized….?



Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k