Tickets in the Thickets

Here is the thing about client requests, or tickets as we call them.

We like to see them come in. It is why we have a job after all. Not all client tickets are equal though. Some are easy. Five minutes, and done! Some are repetitive. Imagine watching the same sitcom episode, on repeat, on a regular basis. There are days it’s okay, almost comforting. Then there are days where being mauled by a bear would be preferable.

Still, you don’t mind the repetitive ones because hey, you know the answer! Copy and paste can be your friend. Not to mention it looks great on the stats, and makes you look brilliant. All winning situations.

Then there are the ‘what the hell is this?’ tickets. I’m partial to these personally. These tickets mean digging in. Throwing the headphones on. Getting lost in programs or queries. Resurfacing only when the coffee runs out. There is a sense of accomplishment in these tickets the others don’t provide.

Let’s not forget the ‘Pop Quiz’ tickets. These are tickets the client submits to test you. You know they know the answer. They know you know they know. Yet, they submit them anyway. These are not the repetitive ones. No, these are ones you see once, maybe twice, a year. The proverbial unicorn in the forest. A lesser man, or woman, would be lost in the thicket; survival questionable. We glide through them with grace and aplomb…usually.

Dante’s nine circles of hell are no match for this team of Analysts!

We might be stumped by a ticket with a single sentence in it though. Details people! Details! We can’t work a ticket when you don’t give us details. We’re Analysts, not mind readers. Although…there was this one time…

 

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Wicked, Wicked Word Search!

 

It started like any other day.

We came.

We worked.

We listened to Dan-chan.

The earth shook, and insanity ensued.

Dan-chan had read an article encouraging Word Search’s to relieve stress. We applauded the brilliance…and any reason to avoid actual work. It really is the simple things…

We were happy to support Dan-chan. Anyway, what could go wrong when you have scientific proof!

Crosswords, Word Searches and Sudoku really do offer benefits. Keeping mentally active, mentally fit and mentally sane. They improve ones vocabulary. Taking them beyond the creative use of four letter words. They are surprisingly low-stress. Well, until you throw OCD riddled, analytical, creative people into the mix.

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Doing word searches, at work, has its challenges. One of the main ones…. keeping an eye out for the Boss-type-lady. Getting caught ‘goofing off’ by your boss…not top of the priority list. We thought it best to avoid any, “You should be working!” type conversations. Surprisingly, a trip to HR with your boss, and belongings, is an amazing motivator.

Now, we did, unfortunately, get caught but that is a story for a later date.

The largest, scariest problem with word searches. Well, ya… that is the inspiring precocity of this team. Our requirements for a valid word search puzzle:

  • You can’t do a word search where the list of “To Be Found” words are not in alphabetical order. It’s just wrong. A bit creepy, and throws our OCD into over-drive.
  • You cannot do a word search with only half the puzzle. This seems logical, but believe me logic has no place here. Again, the OCD kicks in. Paper becomes wadded projectiles. Four letter words fly like warped streaks of lightening.
  • Puzzles in lowercase letters are evil. Created by the devil while PMS’ing. They exist solely to drive a brave man, or woman, insane.
  • Uppercase letters on a puzzle win drinks all around. Unless… they contain commas in place of letters. Seriously, who does this to a word search?
  • Word Searches in foreign languages are doable. Only if they’re words we all know. Words used in everyday English. So, mostly English. Not slang English either, that would be a foreign language.
  • There is also the whole… all letters need to be consecutive. Meaning no significant gaps between one row of letters and the next. Who knew two rows of missing letters would be so distracting!? This, admittedly, is my ‘Oops’. In my defense. It looked good before it was printed.

I bet you’ll never look at a word search the same again!

Our goal….

One day….

To find the PERFECT Word Search!

Wish us luck!

Welcome to Work

In the Beginning, there were Analysts…

The average day at work consists of stress. Lots and lots of stress. It also consists of some wonderful people. People who I’ve, unknown to them, secretly put in the friends and family category. My life would be very boring without their wacky weirdness. Work would also be….well, work.

I hesitate to tell them this because I wouldn’t want them to realize their potential at stardom. Their comedic talents rival those of the greats. Maybe not Robin Williams’s great, but more Russell Brandish.

A daily conversation can go from query to sex swing in point zero seconds. How we arrive there, sometimes, is a question the bravest psychologist couldn’t…wouldn’t… really shouldn’t answer. I’m sure the insanity plea would be within easy reach. If we ever needed it.

You have to admire a group of people who can go from atmospheric to antediluvian in the same breath. It is a talent really. Vulcan mind melding, without touching (of course), occurs spontaneously and often. It is the only explanation I have for certain sentence structures, or thought strings. Depending on your perspective, it could be both.

We weave a web of absurdities Freud would find awe inspiring. And, as I write this, I hear the faint sound of Star Trek theme music. You are about to go where no man has gone before… into the work day realm of The Analysts!

Be afraid…. be very, very afraid!