IT Fun-And-Mental

angrycomputerI freely admit not all days are comical in the IT world.

There are days, like today, where the computer screen is your closest companion, and a query your confidant. It is these days which cause you to question your sanity….repeatedly. They also afford you the time to work on your four letter vocabulary. As of an hour ago, I do believe I have hit every four letter, foul intended word today. Not exactly the goal I set for myself this morning.

So, as a respite from my unintentional goal, I thought I’d share a few IT fundamentals:

 

  1. Coders have been known to flip off their computers. It doesn’t accomplish anything, but it sure makes you feel better.
  2. Error messages when queries fail are not always helpful. Example: Msg 2714, Level 16, State 3, Procedure X_ScrewedUpQuery412, Line 4 [Batch Start Line 9] 
  3. We may be quietly staring at our computer monitor but, in our heads we’re cursing like an old sailor.
  4. Damn-It dolls are a good investment.
  5. Stress balls are only good for throwing at other people.
  6. If we are scowling, and mumbling, place a caffeinated beverage on our desk and quietly back away.
  7. We tend to keep toys at our desk. Momentary mental distractions can save the life of our current project….and the person who requested it.
  8. We are actually very polite, interesting, ‘normal’ people. Unless, things are blowing up, failing, malfunctioning, or not functioning.
  9. We have a verbal filter when professionalism is called for, however, when surrounded by other IT personnel the filter is disabled. This can, occasionally, be a bad thing. More often then not, it is greatly appreciated.
  10. We understand end users do not speak geek. We attempt to speak non-geek, but even our non-geek can be too geeky. We’re just hard-wired that way.
  11. We really do enjoy helping you. We thrive on problems and challenges.  We just really like when you follow the process for reporting issues, and take the time to do basic troubleshooting.
  12. We don’t all live on hot pockets and caffeine but, we can make a valid argument for their inclusion in daily life.
  13. We do have different levels of geekiness. Some of those levels include nerdiness. And yes, there is a difference!

And last, but not least….

IT people are either dearly loved, or severely hated, depending on what is, or is not functioning.

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Observations from the Desk of…

Observation from the Desk of the Fitfully Frustrated:

 

The answer is always simple. Once you’ve incomprehensibly complicated things for a multitude of days.

hairpulling

Welcome to Work

In the Beginning, there were Analysts…

The average day at work consists of stress. Lots and lots of stress. It also consists of some wonderful people. People who I’ve, unknown to them, secretly put in the friends and family category. My life would be very boring without their wacky weirdness. Work would also be….well, work.

I hesitate to tell them this because I wouldn’t want them to realize their potential at stardom. Their comedic talents rival those of the greats. Maybe not Robin Williams’s great, but more Russell Brandish.

A daily conversation can go from query to sex swing in point zero seconds. How we arrive there, sometimes, is a question the bravest psychologist couldn’t…wouldn’t… really shouldn’t answer. I’m sure the insanity plea would be within easy reach. If we ever needed it.

You have to admire a group of people who can go from atmospheric to antediluvian in the same breath. It is a talent really. Vulcan mind melding, without touching (of course), occurs spontaneously and often. It is the only explanation I have for certain sentence structures, or thought strings. Depending on your perspective, it could be both.

We weave a web of absurdities Freud would find awe inspiring. And, as I write this, I hear the faint sound of Star Trek theme music. You are about to go where no man has gone before… into the work day realm of The Analysts!

Be afraid…. be very, very afraid!