How Many IT People Does it Take…??

While hiding under my desk today a new employee badge was brought in to the IT dungeon. The person who activates badges, Make-it-so-Mike, was absent. In his stead the badge found me. The dust bunnies and I had concluded our conversation so I agreed to take on the duty of badge activation. Easy, right? NOPE!

First off. I have NO IDEA how we activate badges. Is there a program? A machine? A magic wand? There’s definitely no documentation…go figure.

Second off. Knowing nothing about the first part concludes I’d know nothing further.

Third off. Apparently Corvette-Crazy doesn’t know about Second Off because ‘knowing nothing’ somehow means ‘knowing something’ and I’m positive I know nothing.

Thankfully, Make-it-so-Mike walked in at this point. I’ve ceased plotting Corvette-Crazies demise. Onward we go to badge activation.

Make-it-so-Mike walks us through activating a badge because we really should know. AND, he will be out all week next week so…..

I take notes. The process is now documented! Woohooo!

We get the badge activated and then….we have to verify the badge works at all the entries. Now, I assume, I will run around and test the badge.

Nope!

It becomes a team effort.

Everyone from IT goes marching through the building. People stop and stare. They ask, “What are you guys doing?” It is a rare sight to see everyone from IT in the hallways. We all laugh at the questions because…the answer is far to silly to admit too.

First door. I place the badge on the reader. It beeps. The door unlocks. Second door – badge, reader, beep. Third door. Another repeat performance – badge, reader, beep. And so it goes.

So, today’s lesson…

If you see the whole IT team wandering the halls. They’re wasting time on something frivolous and they won’t admit it. And, the answer to how many IT people it takes to activate a new employees badge? 3 grown adults 

I do hope your day has been filled with comedy. Life is to short to be serious all the time. Especially when you’re in IT.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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Calling all Clock Keepers

Walked in to the office this morning. First issue of the day, the time clock was not clocking.

This, is NOT an IT issue.

IT receives first notification because…well, one of the first people who arrive in the office is an IT person. And, well, IT is where you report everything! No toilet paper in stall three of the west women’s bathroom…report it to IT! Out of post-it notes? IT will have the answer! Can’t find the right power cord for your laptop? Maintenance will have it!

Office logic is never logical.

IT is not the keeper of the time clocks. We will, however, report the issue to the keeper of the time clocks. They will then remotely diagnosis the issue. If it can be fixed remotely they work their magic. If it cannot be resolved remotely they send someone with a big hammer to realign the clocks attitude. Today, required a realignment.

A very nice ‘keeper of the time clock’ came down and worked to resolve the issue. We, IT, sat and listened to her fiddle with the time click while talking on the phone to whomever was supplying assistance to her.

We, IT, listened because the time clock lives right outside our office. We listened to offer assistance if needed. We listened to gain insight into a possible resolution. We listened because we reported it. We apparently didn’t listen well enough because….

The very nice ‘keeper of the time clock’ left. No update on whether the issue was resolved or persisted. Nothing but silence.

Then….twenty minutes later the phone rang. It was the very nice lady calling to report the issue was resolved but, there was a slow connection and they may have to replace the Ethernet cable.

She called…

She called… instead of taking five steps to the right, or left, and stepping directly into the IT office.

She called…while the door to IT was wide open with every computer from the history of the company sitting right inside.

She called…instead of asking any of the twenty people sitting there could have been asked, “Where is IT? Where is such-and-such person?”

She called!

We have come to the unanimous decision she is apparently NOT an IT person.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

 

 

Did I Give You Permission??

The statement of the day brought to you by Mr. Corvette-Crazy. Artistic drawing of Mr. Corvette-Crazy courtesy of Magnificent-Marge (she did give him more hair then he generally has – she’s always the optimist!).

20191010_153306

And no, he never did give her permission to draw him…but she is a bit of a rebel. 🙂

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Pessimistic Programmer

threeofakind

 

Halloween has arrived in the office and most of us are enjoying the idea of a fun day.

Me: “Are we going to decorate for Halloween?”

Make-It-So-Mike: “We can”

Corvette-Crazy: “Why?”

Me: “You don’t want to?”

Corvette-Crazy: “What for?”

Me: “Cause it’s fun!”

Corvette-Crazy: “It’s for only one day. One hour.”

Me: “It’s for a couple of weeks and besides it’s FUN!”

Make-It-So-Mike: “Let’s do it.”

Genius-Developer-Guy: “We really should decorate for Halloween.”

Corvette-Crazy: *Begrudgingly agrees*

We now have a plan in place. A date set to do the decorating and…

Corvette-Crazy, who did not want to decorate for Halloween, has spent the last 9 days trying to find the perfect pieces to make props for his costume….and to decorate.

The Halloween pessimist has become the Decorating optimist. It just took the right programming!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

 

The End is Near

And today’s statement from Corvette-Crazy while on the phone with Make-it-so-Mike….

“Your desktops weren’t ready. So I reverted. OH! And, your directions have a word wrong!

One word!

The desktops not being ready, and a reversion, eh, no big deal. But, one word wrong in the directions and the world ends!

endoftheworld

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Geekin’ Out

Normally, you’ll find me posting about funny crap that happens at work. Today though…I’m going to truly geek out on you.

I have been a HUGE fan of  Hak5 since I first discovered them. I found them in my search for a method to test our companies Cyber Security Awareness. I had been struggling to find a successful way to raise awareness about inserting jump drives/thumb drivers/etc. into the machines at work. We could do USB drops and see how many were returned but, we didn’t know the statistics on how many were being viewed on machines at work.

My search led me to the Hak5 Rubber Ducky You have to check it out! Especially if your job includes any kind of Cyber Security. You also have to check out their other cool toys. You will not be disappointed!

Let me say right now I am in no way affiliated with Hak5. I make no money from sending you to their site. In fact, I go extremely broke every time I visit their site….It’s an addiction…I will seek help…eventually! 🙂

Don’t go to their site just to buy the fun stuff either. They have tons of videos, pod casts, their forum is a wealth of information and has some pretty awesome people. If you’re a pentester, network admin, systems analyst, heck, anything IT related you will find something useful on the site.

Check it out! You won’t be disappointed.

I’ll end my geek-out there 😉

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l