If You Lock the Doors…

 

Am I the only one who questions people’s intelligence? Please tell me I’m not

Case in point…

I’m sitting at a red light. It begins raining cats and dogs. I notice a beautiful Mercedes convertible, with its top down, sitting in front of our high end jewelry store.

Suddenly, a women runs out of the store. Jumps in the convertible, rolls the windows up and locks the door. Does not put the top up! She then runs back into the store.

Thankfully the light turns green at this point. The logic of her actions escapes me….

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

 

 

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The Thing About Passwords…

In the world of IT…Passwords Matter.

They keep our computers, data, and random trivialities secure. Each employee is provided their own username…they set the password…security at its most basic, right?

Well…in theory it works in that manner. Unless….

You have a group of people (whole department) who share their username/password with each other. They have it written down so each person can access their computer/email. The reasons?

“Well, we can’t do their work if they’re out sick or on vacation without. Now can we?”

“They need to be able to work my email. I hate reading them.” – This is the Manager of the departments statement

Part of me is dumbfounded. The other part of me remembers two of these users are in our hall of Infamous Clickers for failing in our Phishing Campaigns.

I am at a complete loss….

error

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Don’t Do It! If You Do…Make it Funny

Cybersecurity can be….entertaining.

Case in point…

Ran a phishing campaign on the whole company.

Every single employee opened the email.

Only 3 clicked on the link within the email. Here’s where it gets entertaining…

First Link Clicker submitted a ticket (WooHooo!). The ticket states:

“I received an email from ‘Internal Person’ but the link is broke. It takes me to some Phishing site. Can you take a look so I can get to the right site?”

Problem with this is:

  1. She clicked on the link!
  2. She didn’t read the landing page – If she would have read the ‘broken link’ page she would have discovered it was a page all about how she’d been Phished by IT – how to spot Phishing emails, and what to do if you click on the link, or enter credentials.

She did show us, definitively, who our weakest link is – pun intended.

 

Second Link Clicker did not submit a ticket (Boo!) but, they did come back to the office to report:

  1. They received the email and thought it was suspicious.
  2. Left it overnight because they thought it was suspicious.
  3. Didn’t hear anything about the email being suspicious so…
  4. Clicked on the link in the email to see what it was about but…
  5. Wasn’t sure what to do since it didn’t take them to a log in page…

Oh, and did I mention this was all AFTER we (IT) had sent out an email about the ‘suspicious’ email. Telling everyone not to click on the link, and to delete it.

And there we have weak link number 2.

The third link clicker has not come forward. We will find them. We will catch them next time. We will smack their hands for clicking the link. For now though…the two above will go down in the hall of Infamous Clickers.

don'tclick

I can’t wait to send out the next campaign!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

 

Error it is!

In the land of IT error messages are both a blessing and a curse.

Actual error messages:

  • Unacceptable SQL statement.
  • The statement is too long or too complex.
  • Illegal use of the specified keyword.
  • FETCH cannot make an INSENSITIVE cursor SENSITIVE. <– Is this an HR issue? 
  • You tried to create an object that already exists
  • Operation operation is not allowed on system databases
  • The clauses are mutually exclusive                             <–Monogamy in the tech world?
  • The DELETE rule must be DELETE-rule                      <– Persistent isn’t it?
  • Table table-name cannot be created in specified table space table-space-name because it already contains a table
  • The statement is rejected by data definition control support. reason reason-code
  • Unavailable resource. Someone else is locking your data.

Error messages are sooooo helpful!

error.jpg

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

IT Fun-And-Mental

angrycomputerI freely admit not all days are comical in the IT world.

There are days, like today, where the computer screen is your closest companion, and a query your confidant. It is these days which cause you to question your sanity….repeatedly. They also afford you the time to work on your four letter vocabulary. As of an hour ago, I do believe I have hit every four letter, foul intended word today. Not exactly the goal I set for myself this morning.

So, as a respite from my unintentional goal, I thought I’d share a few IT fundamentals:

 

  1. Coders have been known to flip off their computers. It doesn’t accomplish anything, but it sure makes you feel better.
  2. Error messages when queries fail are not always helpful. Example: Msg 2714, Level 16, State 3, Procedure X_ScrewedUpQuery412, Line 4 [Batch Start Line 9] 
  3. We may be quietly staring at our computer monitor but, in our heads we’re cursing like an old sailor.
  4. Damn-It dolls are a good investment.
  5. Stress balls are only good for throwing at other people.
  6. If we are scowling, and mumbling, place a caffeinated beverage on our desk and quietly back away.
  7. We tend to keep toys at our desk. Momentary mental distractions can save the life of our current project….and the person who requested it.
  8. We are actually very polite, interesting, ‘normal’ people. Unless, things are blowing up, failing, malfunctioning, or not functioning.
  9. We have a verbal filter when professionalism is called for, however, when surrounded by other IT personnel the filter is disabled. This can, occasionally, be a bad thing. More often then not, it is greatly appreciated.
  10. We understand end users do not speak geek. We attempt to speak non-geek, but even our non-geek can be too geeky. We’re just hard-wired that way.
  11. We really do enjoy helping you. We thrive on problems and challenges.  We just really like when you follow the process for reporting issues, and take the time to do basic troubleshooting.
  12. We don’t all live on hot pockets and caffeine but, we can make a valid argument for their inclusion in daily life.
  13. We do have different levels of geekiness. Some of those levels include nerdiness. And yes, there is a difference!

And last, but not least….

IT people are either dearly loved, or severely hated, depending on what is, or is not functioning.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l