Location: Genius-Developer-Guys Office
Participants: GDG, Project Manager Extraordinaire, Queen-of-the-CallCenter, Random Person, and Me
Random person leans in office door:
“Have you seen the Queen-of-the-CallCenter?”
“Nope, nope we haven’t…”
The QotCC can hide in plain site when you have a bit of an evil streak. The evil streak quickly softens when you wonder if Random Persons issue was critical?
We might have a slight evil streak, but hey, we prove scientific theory’s when our evil sides kick in. 🙂
“Imagine the following situation. Someone says to you, ‘Please get the the salt,’ and as you walk into the next room, you say, ‘But I don’t know where it is.’ After looking for a few minutes, you call out, ‘I can’t find the salt.’ Then that someone walks up, takes the salt right off the shelf in front of you, and says, ‘Look, dummy, it’s right her in front of you. If it was a snake, it would have bitten you.’ When you said, ‘I can’t,’ you gave your brain a command not to see the salt. In psychology, we call it schotoma.”
The great thing about work? People
The not-so-great thing about work? People
Thankfully, they provide endless entertainment which compensates for the rest. Case in point….hair cuts.
Ventured in to Cost Cutters last week. Decided my hair was annoying the crap out of me, and it needed to go.
Monday, at work, the common question was, “Did you get your hair cut?” My unspoken responses went something like this:
“No, I went in to get this one unruly hair cut, and the rest became insanely jealous. They threatened bodily harm if not allowed to join in the fun. So, we had to cut them all. Have you ever seen hair wielding a knife? It’s scary!”
“No, I went to dry my hair this morning and the ends jumped off. They’re now on strike for better treatment. I’ll miss them but, I don’t negotiate with hair-rorists!”
“No, I participated in a horror movie marathon and my hair just couldn’t take it.”
“No, I didn’t get a hair cut. Why? What are you saying? Oh My God! Where’s my hair?!?!?!”
“Why yes, yes I did. I figured while I was at it, I’d get them all cut though.”
“No, I went wig shopping and this one just wouldn’t come off.”
“Wait! Who told you? Are they still watching me?”
“Wait…..you can see me?!?!”
I may, or may not, have watched Bill Engvall and Jeff Foxworthy a few too many times. Also, I may, or may not, find questions suspect unless you are a teacher, or parent. Just saying…
Observations Amidst an Infrastructure Meeting….
Bossman: “So, do you want to set that up on Linux?”
….”Oh, ya, Ubuntu!”
“No, openSUSE, or we could try Scientific Linux! Haven’t played with that one yet.”
“We really need donuts…jelly filled…or…Oh! Cream filled!”
“There is always Oracle Linux….powdered, powdered donuts are best. Or, cake, chocolate covered cake donuts.”
“I think I’ll just do Kali Linux. There are some features we could use for security, but I’d have to go with the cake donuts. They’re the best.”
“Nobody knows Kali, it’s a gimmick. Anyway it is almost lunch. How about pizza?”
“I know Kali! And Mexican food would be better…mmmm…pork chili!”
Bossman: “Can you all stop talking about food and decide. Is it Kali or what?”
“Mexican food and yes, Kali, since I’m the one working with it. Plus, we really need Monsters or red bull for this afternoon.”
“So, are we going to lunch now?”
“Ya, Wonderful House?”
“Meet you all there!”
Meetings should not be held around lunch time if they are truly meant to be productive. An issue we’ll surely discuss as we go for Chinese. Wonderful House here we come! Be afraid, be very afraid! 🙂
I received an email today, 10/11/2018, from Schwan’s Home Service.
Apparently, they’re not going to make it to my house on their regularly scheduled appointment day of 10/05/2018.
I am so thankful they notified me! I would have been truly worried…..
Dear Technically Challenged End User,
Submitting a ticket on an issue you are experiencing is IT’s preferred method of communication. The fact that we ask you, “Have you submitted a ticket?”, when you approach us should be a clue. However, we understand technology can be challenging. Sending an email, with details of your issue, to email@example.com can be complicated. The other three hundred emails you send in a week are far less complicated. We understand.
Submitting a ticket on your issue also robs us of your glorious visits to our personal space because, you know IT people just LOVE strangers in their personal space. We especially enjoy it when you stand there…staring at us…. while we’re working….and then….finally ask, “Are you busy? Can you look at something?”
“Why, No Jill! We are never to busy for you! Let me drop everything to look at your mission critical issue!”
We will then patiently follow you back to your desk. Where, we will quietly point out the button, checkbox, drop down, or field you forgot to fill in. We may even turn it off, and back on again, like we’ve recommended…repeatedly. We will do whatever we need to do to resolve your critical, highly important issue.
We will do it. We will smile. We will walk away, and smile more because, we know….
The URGENT report you requested this morning. The one we were working on. The one we have now lost all train of thought on. The one we will have to read every line of code we’ve written to re-establish our lost train of thought. That report…that report will be completed some time next month. We could have wrapped it up today but….you couldn’t be bothered to submit a ticket!
The IT Team