Todays IT lesson…
Make-It-So-Mike: “ The image is hosed.“ Corvette-Crazy: “What do you mean the image is hosed?” Make-It-So-Mike: “The image is hosed…” Corvette-Crazy: “You’re an IT professional! Use your words! Hosed isn’t an answer!”
IT professional have words. ‘Hosed’ is not one of those words!
Today our Gold Star user confessed to murdering her keyboard.
During said confession she admitted,
“The keyboard is just not working. I press any key and nothing happens. I can still navigate with the mouse but I pressed Ctrl+Alt+Delete it locked the screen.”
So…the keyboard doesn’t work but…you locked the screen…with the keyboard.
Yep, the problem is definitely the keyboard.
If I was a drinker….
The Statement of the Day…
Random-User: “I have a flaming finger with an exclamation mark when I try to save a file as Excel.”
Help-Desk: “You have a what?”
Random-User: “I have a flaming finger. It won’t let me save.” **It should be noted at this point the help desk person did go take a look… the user was attempting to save a file from one application from another application…
Those pesky flaming fingers! Always causing trouble!
And today’s winner goes to…
User: “Help! All my icons are missing!”
Make-it-so-Mike: “There’s no extra charge for that…”
User: “Oh you’re funny! But no, one minute they were there…then I saw a blur and now they’re gone. I was going to reboot but, I didn’t want to break it further.”
Corvette-Crazy and I: *Laughing like crazy*
Make-it-so-Mike: “Let’s go take a look…”
Corvette-Crazy and I: “Soo??” Make-it-so-Mike: “…she some how hid her icons…”
The look on a users face when something unexpected happens and, IT doesn’t take it as serious as they believe they should…
It is the little things which amuse us.
Today’s Conversation in Question…
Corvette-Crazy: “Oh! That’s beautiful!”
Make-It-So-Mike: “I’ve seen better.” Corvette-Crazy: “Oh no! That is one sexy beast there! I think I’m in love. I really want to screw this to the bottom of the table.”
Contrary to first thoughts….this has nothing to do with porn. It has everything to do with switches, routers, and server racks.
At a company picnic I was asked if I could clear the table…
I said, “Sure!”
I needed a running start, but I made it!
And today’s Conversation in Question….
Corvette-Crazy: “You know what I’d like to do?”
*Make-it-so-Mike and I waiting….* Corvette-Crazy: “I’d like to strip *long pause* everyone’s access and start over.”
so glad he finished that sentence!
Our IT department loves bad jokes. The worse the better!
But… we are IT people so…
No joke goes un-analyzed. Case in point… (Joke told by Make-it-so-Mike)
A blonde walks into a bar. Sits down next to a guy.
He slowly takes a drink and then looks at her.
“Would you have sex with me for 5 Million dollars?”
She says, “YES!”
He slowly takes another drink.
“Would you have sex with me for ten dollars?”
She says, “No! What do a I look like? A prostitute?”
He says, “I thought we already established that and now we’re just haggling over the price?”
Simple joke. Most people laugh and move on.
The discussion starts with how would she react? Would she really say yes? Why is it always a blonde? What was he drinking? Was he good looking? Why do jokes always assume prostitutes are the only ones who have sex for money? And, so on…
Thirty minutes later and we finally have all the details worked out…and the joke is no longer funny. Proof that analyst are sticklers for details!
And today’s Conversation in Question….
Me: “Hey, Corvette-Crazy, do you remember where you were when Mt. St. Helen’s erupted?”
Corvette-Crazy: *Blank Stare*
Corvette-Crazy: *Blinks quickly, smiles, points at his head….*
Me: “Crap! You weren’t even born yet. None of you were born yet! I despise you all!” Corvette-Crazy: *Laughs* “Feel old yet?”
I really don’t like this adultier-adult thing. When did it happen? Why did it happen? I need wine!!
To all of the IT warriors out there who are kicking butt to set people up to work from home…
To all of you who are prepping emails, special messages, modifying websites, ensuring server space, and doing all you can to save the day…
You are Awesome and Undervalued!
I know you’re all busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest but,
be sure to take care of yourselves! Stay safe, sane, and healthy!
My thoughts are with you!