Analysts and Their Details…

Our IT department loves bad jokes. The worse the better!

But… we are IT people so…

No joke goes un-analyzed. Case in point… (Joke told by Make-it-so-Mike)

A blonde walks into a bar. Sits down next to a guy.

He slowly takes a drink and then looks at her.

“Would you have sex with me for 5 Million dollars?”

She says, “YES!”

He slowly takes another drink.

“Would you have sex with me for ten dollars?”

She says, “No! What do a look like a prostitute?”

He says, “I thought we already established that and now we’re just haggling over the price?”

Simple joke. Most people laugh and move on.

Not us!

The discussion starts with how would she react? Would she really say yes? Why is it always a blonde? What was he drinking? Was he good looking? Why do jokes always assume prostitutes are the only ones who have sex for money? And, so on…

Thirty minutes later and we finally have all the details worked out. Proof that analyst are sticklers for details!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Adultier-Adult

And today’s Conversation in Question….

Me: “Hey, Corvette-Crazy, do you remember where you were when Mt. St. Helen’s erupted?”

Corvette-Crazy: *Blank Stare*

Me: “Well?”

Corvette-Crazy: *Blinks quickly, smiles, points at his head….*

Me: “Crap! You weren’t even born yet. None of you were born yet! I despise you all!”

Corvette-Crazy: *Laughs* “Feel old yet?”

I really don’t like this adultier-adult thing. When did it happen? Why did it happen? I need wine!!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Covid-19

To all of the IT warriors out there who are kicking butt to set people up to work from home…

To all of you who are prepping emails, special messages, modifying websites, ensuring server space, and doing all you can to save the day…

You are Awesome and Undervalued! 

I know you’re all busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest but, be sure to take care of yourselves! Stay safe, sane, and healthy!

My thoughts are with you!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Not at all here…

hairpulling

Me…sitting at my desk…alone in the dark void of the office…

Corvette-Crazy: “Well…where’s Make-it-so-Mike?”

Me: “Not in here.”

Corvette-Crazy walks out of the office…

Three minutes later…

Corvette-Crazy: “What, Mike-it-so-Mike isn’t back yet?”

Me: “Nope, not yet.”

Corvette-Crazy: “My powers of observation are great!”

Me: “Sure, we’ll go with that…”

Corvette-Crazy walks out of the office…

Two minutes later…

Make-it-so-Mike: “Well, where’s Corvette-Crazy?”

I detail Corvette-Crazies walking in, comments, and walking out.

Make-it-so-Mike laughs and then walks out of the office….

A few seconds later both of them come walking back in to the office, make a comment, and then immediately walk back out.

I’m assuming at this point, since they have now found each other, they are off to skip lovingly through the forest, hands entwined, in eternal happiness. Either that or, they’re going to lose each other somewhere else in the building for someone else’s amusement.

Care to guess which one it will be?

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Men Do It All The Time!

Working with men…

Man 1: Are we wearing blue or white Monday?

Man 2: I thought we were going with blue?

Man 1: Oh, I thought we were going white

Man 2: We can do white with a black tie.

Man 1: Wait. Don’t we have ties which match?

Man 2: We do! It’s the pink one.

Man 1: Don’t forget to shave.

Man 2: Will do! See you Monday!

I thought only women did the whole matchy-matchy thing but nope!  I work with weirdos!

conjoinedtwins.jpg

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Bring on the Wine!

And today’s conversation in question winner goes to….

Me: “Hey, I need some more info on the ticket you submitted.”

User: “I submitted a ticket?”

Me: “Ya, you requested a utilization report….”

User: “Are you sure it was me?”

Me: “Ya, it has your name all over it…”

User: “I haven’t submitted a ticket in ages…”

Me: “Oh, well then, I guess I can close this ticket.”

User: “Well no. If you say I submitted one then I might have. I just don’t remember it.”

Me: “Okay.”

User: “Now….what was the ticket about?”

Me: “A report. Utilization.”

User: “OH! That report!”

And this is where I take up drinking!

 

 

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l