I T-Shirt You Not!

I’m not a salesperson. I’m a computer geek. But…

A couple of people I know well started a T-Shirt shop. They have some pretty funny items. Thought I’d pass it on in case you were…like me…a huge T-Shirt fan.

Wilder Things 101

No purchase necessary but, they may bring you a smile.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Oh NO IT don’t!

Co-Worker explaining IT to another departments employee…

“IT people have it genetically programmed into their brain to say ‘NO!’ to any question.”

So, that’s why I always say no when someone offers me a donut. Here I thought it was just because I didn’t want one….

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

The Colorful One…for Reports

Just had a manager from Client Services walk in with a CSR and say….

CSM: “Pull up your code. I don’t care what code. Just pull it up. You know, the colorful one for the reports.”

I pulled up the ‘colorful one for reports’….

code.png

She proceeds to ‘explain’ to the CSR what ‘code’ is and what it does.

Apparently, the pluses, and minuses, and commas, and parenthesis all do something. I’m sure it is helpful when you’re answering the phones for billing questions.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

 

How Many IT People Does it Take…??

While hiding under my desk today a new employee badge was brought in to the IT dungeon. The person who activates badges, Make-it-so-Mike, was absent. In his stead the badge found me. The dust bunnies and I had concluded our conversation so I agreed to take on the duty of badge activation. Easy, right? NOPE!

First off. I have NO IDEA how we activate badges. Is there a program? A machine? A magic wand? There’s definitely no documentation…go figure.

Second off. Knowing nothing about the first part concludes I’d know nothing further.

Third off. Apparently Corvette-Crazy doesn’t know about Second Off because ‘knowing nothing’ somehow means ‘knowing something’ and I’m positive I know nothing.

Thankfully, Make-it-so-Mike walked in at this point. I’ve ceased plotting Corvette-Crazies demise. Onward we go to badge activation.

Make-it-so-Mike walks us through activating a badge because we really should know. AND, he will be out all week next week so…..

I take notes. The process is now documented! Woohooo!

We get the badge activated and then….we have to verify the badge works at all the entries. Now, I assume, I will run around and test the badge.

Nope!

It becomes a team effort.

Everyone from IT goes marching through the building. People stop and stare. They ask, “What are you guys doing?” It is a rare sight to see everyone from IT in the hallways. We all laugh at the questions because…the answer is far to silly to admit too.

First door. I place the badge on the reader. It beeps. The door unlocks. Second door – badge, reader, beep. Third door. Another repeat performance – badge, reader, beep. And so it goes.

So, today’s lesson…

If you see the whole IT team wandering the halls. They’re wasting time on something frivolous and they won’t admit it. And, the answer to how many IT people it takes to activate a new employees badge? 3 grown adults 

I do hope your day has been filled with comedy. Life is to short to be serious all the time. Especially when you’re in IT.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Calling all Clock Keepers

Walked in to the office this morning. First issue of the day, the time clock was not clocking.

This, is NOT an IT issue.

IT receives first notification because…well, one of the first people who arrive in the office is an IT person. And, well, IT is where you report everything! No toilet paper in stall three of the west women’s bathroom…report it to IT! Out of post-it notes? IT will have the answer! Can’t find the right power cord for your laptop? Maintenance will have it!

Office logic is never logical.

IT is not the keeper of the time clocks. We will, however, report the issue to the keeper of the time clocks. They will then remotely diagnosis the issue. If it can be fixed remotely they work their magic. If it cannot be resolved remotely they send someone with a big hammer to realign the clocks attitude. Today, required a realignment.

A very nice ‘keeper of the time clock’ came down and worked to resolve the issue. We, IT, sat and listened to her fiddle with the time click while talking on the phone to whomever was supplying assistance to her.

We, IT, listened because the time clock lives right outside our office. We listened to offer assistance if needed. We listened to gain insight into a possible resolution. We listened because we reported it. We apparently didn’t listen well enough because….

The very nice ‘keeper of the time clock’ left. No update on whether the issue was resolved or persisted. Nothing but silence.

Then….twenty minutes later the phone rang. It was the very nice lady calling to report the issue was resolved but, there was a slow connection and they may have to replace the Ethernet cable.

She called…

She called… instead of taking five steps to the right, or left, and stepping directly into the IT office.

She called…while the door to IT was wide open with every computer from the history of the company sitting right inside.

She called…instead of asking any of the twenty people sitting there could have been asked, “Where is IT? Where is such-and-such person?”

She called!

We have come to the unanimous decision she is apparently NOT an IT person.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

 

 

Did I Give You Permission??

The statement of the day brought to you by Mr. Corvette-Crazy. Artistic drawing of Mr. Corvette-Crazy courtesy of Magnificent-Marge (she did give him more hair then he generally has – she’s always the optimist!).

20191010_153306

And no, he never did give her permission to draw him…but she is a bit of a rebel. 🙂

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Pessimistic Programmer

threeofakind

 

Halloween has arrived in the office and most of us are enjoying the idea of a fun day.

Me: “Are we going to decorate for Halloween?”

Make-It-So-Mike: “We can”

Corvette-Crazy: “Why?”

Me: “You don’t want to?”

Corvette-Crazy: “What for?”

Me: “Cause it’s fun!”

Corvette-Crazy: “It’s for only one day. One hour.”

Me: “It’s for a couple of weeks and besides it’s FUN!”

Make-It-So-Mike: “Let’s do it.”

Genius-Developer-Guy: “We really should decorate for Halloween.”

Corvette-Crazy: *Begrudgingly agrees*

We now have a plan in place. A date set to do the decorating and…

Corvette-Crazy, who did not want to decorate for Halloween, has spent the last 9 days trying to find the perfect pieces to make props for his costume….and to decorate.

The Halloween pessimist has become the Decorating optimist. It just took the right programming!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l