Doctors Recommendations

Per my doctor’s recommendations, I got one of those Fitbits. It says you can even swim with it on, which has me really stoked because I never could swim before…

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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It’s Been a Pickle of a Day

 

If a cow and a half can eat a bale and a half in a day in a half, how long would it take a rubber mosquito with wooden legs to kick the dimples of a pickle?

And that perfectly sums up my day!

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

I Just Didn’t Know…

And today’s conversation in question…

User: “Should these groups show on the Groups by Date report?”

Me: “The report pulls groups who are active today. If they’re not active, then no. If you run it for 01/01/2018 they will show up.”

User: “Oh, I did that and it worked. I found the groups. I just didn’t know if there was something wrong with the report and it needed to be fixed.”

The report worked the way it was designed but…”I just didn’t know if there was something wrong with it….”

I’m leaning toward it being a PEBKAC issue. What do you think?

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

And Away We Go!

Planning a trip away from the office, for any length of time, takes a bit of finagling.

One must….

  1. Put out all the fires which have magically invaded all aspects of your week prior to departure.
  2. The more fires you put out, the more fires arrive which make you contemplate taking up drinking.
  3. You try to never leave during the first week of the month – it is an unwritten rule in IT. If you are absent the first week of the month you wish everyone luck and then turn your phone off (<– this is wishful thinking. I have been hunted down because I didn’t answer my phone. IT people don’t mess around!)
  4. Drag your work laptop with you. You will inevitably need it.
  5. Never forget to set your “Out of Office”. People don’t pay attention to it but, you can at least say you set it to CYA.
  6. Try to finish up all the projects you can – you will fail due to all the fires but, you still try.
  7. Never look back on the day you leave. If you do look back, someone is going to stop you with a question, or need help, or want you to look at something, or….you will never make it out alive!
  8. Run! Run and never go back! At least until you miss the madness and the crazy pull of the IT world sucks you back in. Or, you remember how many emails will be waiting for you when you get back and you surrender to the overwhelming thought of, “Why didn’t I take up drinking?”

 

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Just Make it Stop!

In the poorly lit expanse of glowing monitors and clicking keyboard keys, where the infamous IT vampires daftly hunt and kill infuriating techie issues. In the space no ordinary man dares to enter for fear of growling and demands of ‘Did you submit a ticket?’.

There….

In the Darkness…

Is a stupid fly which has been bugging the hell out of everyone for three days!

IT can do a lot of things. Apparently killing a single fly isn’t one of them….

angrycomputer

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

If You Lock the Doors…

 

Am I the only one who questions people’s intelligence? Please tell me I’m not

Case in point…

I’m sitting at a red light. It begins raining cats and dogs. I notice a beautiful Mercedes convertible, with its top down, sitting in front of our high end jewelry store.

Suddenly, a women runs out of the store. Jumps in the convertible, rolls the windows up and locks the door. Does not put the top up! She then runs back into the store.

Thankfully the light turns green at this point. The logic of her actions escapes me….

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

 

 

The Thing About Passwords…

In the world of IT…Passwords Matter.

They keep our computers, data, and random trivialities secure. Each employee is provided their own username…they set the password…security at its most basic, right?

Well…in theory it works in that manner. Unless….

You have a group of people (whole department) who share their username/password with each other. They have it written down so each person can access their computer/email. The reasons?

“Well, we can’t do their work if they’re out sick or on vacation without. Now can we?”

“They need to be able to work my email. I hate reading them.” – This is the Manager of the departments statement

Part of me is dumbfounded. The other part of me remembers two of these users are in our hall of Infamous Clickers for failing in our Phishing Campaigns.

I am at a complete loss….

error

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l