Not at all here…

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Me…sitting at my desk…alone in the dark void of the office…

Corvette-Crazy: “Well…where’s Make-it-so-Mike?”

Me: “Not in here.”

Corvette-Crazy walks out of the office…

Three minutes later…

Corvette-Crazy: “What, Mike-it-so-Mike isn’t back yet?”

Me: “Nope, not yet.”

Corvette-Crazy: “My powers of observation are great!”

Me: “Sure, we’ll go with that…”

Corvette-Crazy walks out of the office…

Two minutes later…

Make-it-so-Mike: “Well, where’s Corvette-Crazy?”

I detail Corvette-Crazies walking in, comments, and walking out.

Make-it-so-Mike laughs and then walks out of the office….

A few seconds later both of them come walking back in to the office, make a comment, and then immediately walk back out.

I’m assuming at this point, since they have now found each other, they are off to skip lovingly through the forest, hands entwined, in eternal happiness. Either that or, they’re going to lose each other somewhere else in the building for someone else’s amusement.

Care to guess which one it will be?

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Strippers can be Helpful

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Today’s Observation from Under My Desk…

If you mention strippers…even strippers who use walkers… men will immediately pay attention to what you’re saying.

Helpful if you really need to ask them a question.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Men Do It All The Time!

Working with men…

Man 1: Are we wearing blue or white Monday?

Man 2: I thought we were going with blue?

Man 1: Oh, I thought we were going white

Man 2: We can do white with a black tie.

Man 1: Wait. Don’t we have ties which match?

Man 2: We do! It’s the pink one.

Man 1: Don’t forget to shave.

Man 2: Will do! See you Monday!

I thought only women did the whole matchy-matchy thing but nope!  I work with weirdos!

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Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Bring on the Wine!

And today’s conversation in question winner goes to….

Me: “Hey, I need some more info on the ticket you submitted.”

User: “I submitted a ticket?”

Me: “Ya, you requested a utilization report….”

User: “Are you sure it was me?”

Me: “Ya, it has your name all over it…”

User: “I haven’t submitted a ticket in ages…”

Me: “Oh, well then, I guess I can close this ticket.”

User: “Well no. If you say I submitted one then I might have. I just don’t remember it.”

Me: “Okay.”

User: “Now….what was the ticket about?”

Me: “A report. Utilization.”

User: “OH! That report!”

And this is where I take up drinking!

 

 

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

IM’s, Short and Sweet

Team meeting without the meeting part….you have to love those!

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Genius Developer Guy (Boss): 

I’m held up in a meeting.  We won’t be having our staff meeting this week unless you guys have something that we need to discuss

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Make-It-So-Mike: 

we’re good

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Corvette Crazy: 

lol, me too

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM] Me:

All good here

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Genius Developer Guy (Boss): 

yay!  no more meeting!  GET BACK TO WORK!

 

Welp…..back to work!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

My Glitch in the Matrix

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So….

I have to share a story.

One particularly frustrating week of working on endless SQL’s caused a glitch in the Matrix for me.

I had been working on a couple of small reports which had to be done yesterday! And, one rather large report which was seriously pissing me off. No matter what I did I could not get the large report to run. It was error after error after error after error….enough to drive you to drinking!

I finished up the two smaller reports. Decided I’m leaving the large report for the next day because I’d had it. I was just mentally done with fighting with it.

Went home that night. Relaxed. Watched TV. Went to bed.

Woke up from a horrible dream at 3 am. In my dream I had accidentally deleted the large report. Upper management was wielding pitch forks and torches, and chasing me down a road I’d never seen.

The whole time I’m running I am retyping this huge query. Trying to get it finished before they catch me. The running and typing thing is a super power I do not posses in real life. Thankfully, I get the last line typed and …they catch me before I can tell them I’m finished…and….that’s when I woke up.

I get to work the next day. Finally stop procrastinating and decide I’d better work on the large report before there really are pitchforks and torches. So, I open the query and run it to see what errors I need to resolve and…the stupid thing runs!! Not a single error in sight.

I validate the data. It’s spot on. The client is happy. I’m confused.

I have to admit though, it is not the first time I’ve written an query in my sleep!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

A Geeky Little Christmas

 

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The Holiday’s are here and since I’m a (wo)man of few words. I thought I’d share some geeky funnies.

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And last, but not least, Geek and Poke…because everything is better with Geek and Poke.

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May the best of 2019 be the worst of your 2020. Happy Holiday’s All and a Blessed New Year!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l