Working with men…
Man 1: Are we wearing blue or white Monday?
Man 2: I thought we were going with blue?
Man 1: Oh, I thought we were going white
Man 2: We can do white with a black tie.
Man 1: Wait. Don’t we have ties which match?
Man 2: We do! It’s the pink one.
Man 1: Don’t forget to shave.
Man 2: Will do! See you Monday!
I thought only women did the whole matchy-matchy thing but nope! I work with weirdos!
And today’s conversation in question winner goes to….
Me: “Hey, I need some more info on the ticket you submitted.”
User: “I submitted a ticket?”
Me: “Ya, you requested a utilization report….”
User: “Are you sure it was me?”
Me: “Ya, it has your name all over it…”
User: “I haven’t submitted a ticket in ages…”
Me: “Oh, well then, I guess I can close this ticket.”
User: “Well no. If you say I submitted one then I might have. I just don’t remember it.”
User: “Now….what was the ticket about?”
Me: “A report. Utilization.”
User: “OH! That report!”
And this is where I take up drinking!
Team meeting without the meeting part….you have to love those!
[1/14/2020 2:40 PM] Genius Developer Guy (Boss):
I’m held up in a meeting. We won’t be having our staff meeting this week unless you guys have something that we need to discuss
[1/14/2020 2:40 PM] Make-It-So-Mike:
[1/14/2020 2:40 PM] Corvette Crazy:
lol, me too
[1/14/2020 2:40 PM] Me:
All good here
[1/14/2020 2:40 PM] Genius Developer Guy (Boss):
yay! no more meeting! GET BACK TO WORK!
Welp…..back to work!
I have to share a story.
One particularly frustrating week of working on endless SQL’s caused a glitch in the Matrix for me.
I had been working on a couple of small reports which had to be done yesterday! And, one rather large report which was seriously pissing me off. No matter what I did I could not get the large report to run. It was error after error after error after error….enough to drive you to drinking!
I finished up the two smaller reports. Decided I’m leaving the large report for the next day because I’d had it. I was just mentally done with fighting with it.
Went home that night. Relaxed. Watched TV. Went to bed.
Woke up from a horrible dream at 3 am. In my dream I had accidentally deleted the large report. Upper management was wielding pitch forks and torches, and chasing me down a road I’d never seen.
The whole time I’m running I am retyping this huge query. Trying to get it finished before they catch me. The running and typing thing is a super power I do not posses in real life. Thankfully, I get the last line typed and …they catch me before I can tell them I’m finished…and….that’s when I woke up.
I get to work the next day. Finally stop procrastinating and decide I’d better work on the large report before there really are pitchforks and torches. So, I open the query and run it to see what errors I need to resolve and…the stupid thing runs!! Not a single error in sight.
I validate the data. It’s spot on. The client is happy. I’m confused.
I have to admit though, it is not the first time I’ve written a query in my sleep!
The Holiday’s are here and since I’m a (wo)man of few words. I thought I’d share some geeky funnies.
And last, but not least, Geek and Poke…because everything is better with Geek and Poke.
May the best of 2019 be the worst of your 2020. Happy Holiday’s All and a Blessed New Year!
What’s the creepiest/downright scariest thing to happen to you or someone else in your hometown/city?
I ran across this question today and it sparked an old memory.
When I was 17 or 18 my dad, and a friend, owned a garage/gas station. One of the guys who worked for them, Frank, was obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. I mean stalking obsessed.
She started dating someone else and Frank went off the rails. Shot her, her mother, and father.
I remember my dad calling me at home and telling me to lock the doors, windows, and to call him if I saw Frank. He didn’t tell me why at the time and I didn’t ask. My dad was always calm and collected so it was out of the norm to hear him a bit panicky.
I later found out about the shooting and Frank driving down our alley trying to hide. The stupid thing was….Frank drove a canary yellow corvette. The police found him rather quickly – Thankfully!
I cannot imagine what his ex-girlfriend went through, or her family, but she is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet.
Have you ever experienced anything like this?
It takes 40 minutes to shut down on a good day and I haven’t saved since the last Tuesday of last month!!!
I may just have to take up drinking….anyone have $.75 for a Mt. Dew I could borrow?
Statement of the day…..
What exactly makes someone a baby tomato?
Halloween decorating was a great success for the IT department…unfortunately. Since it was a success a repeat performance has been requested for the Christmas season.
The IT department is Grinch-afied. We do not want to decorate!
We exhausted our energy on Halloween because…well…Halloween is our favorite. The dark dungeon of IT should be the first clue for anyone who doubts.
The office receives a pizza party if all departments decorate. ALL departments. Ugh!
So…. How do you motivate an unmotived and bah humbuggish department to decorate?
I have no idea!
I hope everyones Thanksgiving was awesome! They rolled me out the door so, I would say mine was a complete success. The best…no work!
So, I thought I’d share a friends work. (I seem to be on this kick lately, but hey, you have to share the awesome stuff, right?)
If you are a geek of geeks like I am. You have to check out idealcomics.net.
This great group of guys is from my home town. They work their butts off and they are good! They’re also pretty cool but don’t tell them I said anything to that effect lol
Check’em out! Show’em some love! And for goodness sakes, keep me AWAY from the turkey! Ugh!
Happy Holidays All!