Just Make it Stop!

In the poorly lit expanse of glowing monitors and clicking keyboard keys, where the infamous IT vampires daftly hunt and kill infuriating techie issues. In the space no ordinary man dares to enter for fear of growling and demands of ‘Did you submit a ticket?’.

There….

In the Darkness…

Is a stupid fly which has been bugging the hell out of everyone for three days!

IT can do a lot of things. Apparently killing a single fly isn’t one of them….

angrycomputer

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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What’s for Lunch?

So…

Corvette-Crazy and Make-it-so-Mike have this thing. It’s a weird thing. They’re a weird thing.

Anyway…

They venture to lunch and when they come back….they try to guess where the other went for lunch. You wouldn’t think this would be entertaining but…

Corvette-Crazy keeps a stash of empty fast food bags in his vehicle. Let me say that again….He keeps a stash of Empty fast food bags in his vehicle.

Why does he keep this stash? So he can ‘stump’ Make-it-so-Mike. The daily lunch discussion goes exactly like this:

Corvette-Crazy: *Walks in with a bag of food and drink* “So, where did I go to lunch?”

Make-it-so-Mike: “I don’t know. I didn’t see the bag”

Corvette-Crazy: *Holds up bag so Make-it-so-Mike can see it*

FYI – the bag Corvette-Crazy holds up says Taco Johns.

Make-it-so-Mike: “Looks like Arby’s, or Sonics.”

Corvette-Crazy: “Is that your finally answer?”

Make-it-so-Mike: “I know you went Sonic’s. I can see the cup.”

Corvette-Crazy: “Is that the only place I went?”

Make-it-so-Mike: “Probably not.”

Make-it-so-Mike to Me: “You know he keeps a stash of empty bags in his car so he can switch them out, right?”

Me: “You’re kidding?”

Make-it-so-Mike: “Nope”

Corvette-Crazy to Mike: “I think she’s getting into this too.”

Me: “Keep thinking!”

I have the unfortunate luck to have my desk smack dab between these two.. Most days, it is a great place to be….until lunch rolls around.

I appreciate the ‘guys’ have their thing. It entertains them. It makes them happy. Happy co-workers are a good thing.

However….after a year of this lunch discussion… I DO NOT care what anyone has for lunch!

By the way, I had beef jerky and a Monster for lunch. I know you were wondering…

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Extend Your Right Arm And…

When your Support Desk personnel are tired of fixing the same issue, repeatedly, every single day, but…they are trying to stay upbeat and positive to avoid jail time…. you end up with directions like this:

Periodically Internet Explorer will not display the  Home page (www.ourhomepage.com/homepage) correctly however there is a very simple fix!

If you open the Home Page and see something that looks like this image – follow the 6 steps outlined below:

homepage

  1. Relax – it’s easy to fix!
  2. Click on the “Sprocket” in the upper right corner of the browser

sprocket

3. Click Compatibility View Settings

compatability

4. Remove the Check in the box before “Display intranet sites in Compatibility View” and Click Close

checkmark

5. The browser should automatically refresh and …… Ala-ka-zam!!  You fixed it!! Your  Home Page aka Links Page should now look like this:

After

6. Now, fully extend your right arm, wrap it around your left shoulder and give yourself  a pat on the back – Good Job!!

If you read the full instructions…extend your right arm, wrap it around your left shoulder, and pat yourself on the back! You’ve just done more than the intended audience, Kudos!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Observations from a Padded Server Room….

If you’re a manager, director, boss, or any other title overseeing employees…

  1. Do your job, not your employees job, even if your think you’re helping.
  2. Do Not sabotage your employees by doing parts of their job, having meetings with clients where decision on projects are made by yourself….without telling them…all the time! We need that information…we’re the ones working on the project….your job is to oversee our work. It confuses the client, your employee, and makes job hunting look appealing. Hair pulling, fluency in four letter word usage, and padded room experience are not acceptable skills for resume’s.
  3. Do Not reply to emails you’re copied on saying “I’ll take care of this…” when your employee is already taking care of it….. It makes it look like you are not confident in the people YOU hired. If it was already on your ‘To Do’ list then tell your employee first before replying to all. A simple “Hey, I knew this was an issue and am going to resolve it.” goes a long way. Absence of a heads up leads to #2 above.
  4. And last, but not least, employees like to have faith in their fearless leader. They like to know a few things:

Their boss would go to bat for them in adversity.
Their boss has faith in their abilities.
Their boss can lead without needing to control.
Their boss is available when needed.
Their boss won’t send them to the crazy house.

Note: This post was written in complete frustration. In five minutes I won’t remember it, and likely won’t care about any of it….until it happens again. I would like to think I would be an effective leader BUT….I’m pretty sure I would make the same mistakes, and likely a slew of others. If any of us were perfect we wouldn’t have self help books, right? On that note…. Here’s my suggested reading list for those looking to be effective leaders:

  1. The Noticer by Andy Andrews: Sometimes, all a person needs is a little perspective. (If I had to choose one book to provide to everyone I know….this would be the book!)

  2. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson: A Counter-intuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (Not really a leadership focused book but, it is well worth a read!)

  3. The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace by Gary Chapman: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People (Awesome book!)

  4. The Power of Positive Leadership by John Gordon: How and Why Positive Leaders Transform Teams and Organizations and Change the World

  5. The Leadership Challenge: How to Make Extraordinary Things Happen in Organizations

  6. The Geek Leader’s Handbook by Paul Glen and Maria McManus: Essential Leadership Insight for People with Technical Backgrounds

  7. Grow Your Geeks by Antoinette Oglethorpe: A Handbook for Developing Leaders in High-Tech Organisations

Happy reading! Rant over 😉

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Observation from Under the Desk…

Work Christmas Parties can be nerve racking if you’re an introvert like most IT personnel. However, every so often such gatherings remind why we work here….

…and the winning White Elephant Prize goes to the Administrative Assistant Extraordinaire with the giving of the Maxi Pad Slippers….

slippers.jpg

Slip’on ya’ll! Slip’on!

Happy Holidays Everyone!

 

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Observations from Under the Desk

Finding random notes on your phone you don’t remember writing….

note

…can make a day quizzically entertaining. I mean, who is Kate/ Kate bush and what is she doing with a hill? Do I need a cipher to understand the rest?

Note: Screenshot is from today, but note details show I typed it at 3:32 am on 10/11/18. Sleep working, or sleep studying? I’ve yet to decide.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Observations From The Big Red Button

bigredbuttonDo Not Push!

The ability of non-techie people to associate every issue with IT never ceases to amaze me. When did IT become synonymous with, “Those who hold the knowledge to fix everything?” We’re a group of people who have a penchants for technology because we’ve read a book, taken a test, or spent time playing around with random technology. We’re geeks!

Our inability to solve every problem non-techie people (or norms as we’ve called them) have can cause some dissension. I have seen people scream in the face of IT support people. I have watch mature adults throw things at IT personnel. I have watched IT people walk away from an encounter crying…and quitting.

Peoples behavior toward IT goes a little like this….

**Random departments managers ink pen stops working. She can no longer write down notes she’s viewing on the computer. Calls IT….IT suggests getting a new pen, or trying a different one she may have nearby. Department manager yells, “Just get down here and fix it. It’s what you get paid to do.” **

**User printed a form from pdf and now cannot find the printed form. Calls IT….”The computer isn’t working. I printed a form and now I can’t find it.”

IT asks, “Do you remember where you saw it last?”

User, “Well yes, it is on my screen.”

IT, “Can you print another one?”

User, “Why would I print another one? I just need you to come find the one I printed. It’s from the computer, and that’s you’re area, right?” **

**Company-Big-Wig emails the whole IT department, along with all of the Company’s other Big-Wigs.

“I have attempted to call IT multiple times now and they never answer. I have a computer problem I need them to fix right now. They are never available. They never answer. Does anyone even work in IT? They all need to be fired and replaced with a competent team of people.”

Big-Wigs calls show abandoned before reaching call queue which means Big-Wig hung up before the phone could ring to be answered. Big-Wig no longer with company.**

**Upper Management Person’s report is not working the way they requested. Approaches IT person currently working to write said report. Starts yelling, cussing, and belittling IT member…because IT is lazy and doesn’t have a clue what they’re doing. Believes monkeys could do better and take less time, etc. IT person politely reminds Upper Management Person the report has not been put out there for testing, yet. She’s still running the old report which…is still broken. UM Person stomps off, no apologies.**

Never once does it cross peoples minds IT holds an amazing amount of power. All of the technology they use is controlled by IT. The majority of norms like IT….because they fix things! IT works to make life easier for everyone; even the rude and inconsiderate.

The list of things IT could do to make life hell for any individual…. well, it’s pretty long, and would be so much fun to do! But…IT generally just grumbles about such incidents in their meetings and go about their day.

People really need to thank their lucky stars that IT personnel are reserved and good natured…..generally…..but we do keep our hand on the red button just in case. 🙂

Note: The spark of insanity which leads some people to raise their voice toward any fellow employee is one I question. If this is ‘normal’ behavior for them then I feel for their family and friends. There is never an acceptable reason to yell, belittle, or cuss at anyone. A machine, code, or technology in general…as long as it is inanimate…is very acceptable; even if it is a bit unacceptable by the ‘norms.’  🙂

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l