He’s making a database.
He’s querying it twice.
SELECT * FROM People WHERE Behavior = ‘Nice’
SQL Clause is coming to town.
I am going to have this stuck in my head the rest of the day!
While hiding under my desk today a new employee badge was brought in to the IT dungeon. The person who activates badges, Make-it-so-Mike, was absent. In his stead the badge found me. The dust bunnies and I had concluded our conversation so I agreed to take on the duty of badge activation. Easy, right? NOPE!
First off. I have NO IDEA how we activate badges. Is there a program? A machine? A magic wand? There’s definitely no documentation…go figure.
Second off. Knowing nothing about the first part concludes I’d know nothing further.
Third off. Apparently Corvette-Crazy doesn’t know about Second Off because ‘knowing nothing’ somehow means ‘knowing something’ and I’m positive I know nothing.
Thankfully, Make-it-so-Mike walked in at this point. I’ve ceased plotting Corvette-Crazies demise. Onward we go to badge activation.
Make-it-so-Mike walks us through activating a badge because we really should know. AND, he will be out all week next week so…..
I take notes. The process is now documented! Woohooo!
We get the badge activated and then….we have to verify the badge works at all the entries. Now, I assume, I will run around and test the badge.
It becomes a team effort.
Everyone from IT goes marching through the building. People stop and stare. They ask, “What are you guys doing?” It is a rare sight to see everyone from IT in the hallways. We all laugh at the questions because…the answer is far to silly to admit too.
First door. I place the badge on the reader. It beeps. The door unlocks. Second door – badge, reader, beep. Third door. Another repeat performance – badge, reader, beep. And so it goes.
So, today’s lesson…
If you see the whole IT team wandering the halls. They’re wasting time on something frivolous and they won’t admit it. And, the answer to how many IT people it takes to activate a new employees badge? 3 grown adults
I do hope your day has been filled with comedy. Life is to short to be serious all the time. Especially when you’re in IT.
On days the IT team is feeling semi-social we venture forth into the great unknown of Lunch!
Doesn’t sound exciting, I know. Until you realize the average lunch escapade for any IT member involves:
On this, day of days, however, the entire IT team decided we’d harken forth to a local eatery. Traveling, en-pack, to El Torito we left the dark recesses of our caves.
During lunch we unanimously decide there would be no talk of work.
It may not have been the wisest choice.
Our topics of conversation ranged from politics to midget porn to watcher programs to nanny cams to graveyard shifts to computer forensics to Corvette-Crazies latest date….
The poor gentleman who sat across from us spent much of his meal shaking his head. At some points I think he actually wanted to chime in….at others….I’m sure he questioned how our minds work.
Still….a break from the office, with the crew, especially on a Monday, is always welcome.
Code Review. A time to learn. A time to analyze. A time to test The -Force!
Corvette-Crazy: “Hey, we need to fix this error notification.”
Genius-Developer-Guy: “Okay.” *Looks at phone*
Corvette-Crazy: “All it should need is a ‘Force’.” *Opens Powershell script*
Genius-Developer Guy: “Okay” *Sends a text message*
Corvette-Crazy: *Scrolls through script; stops, types -Force* “Okay, should I try running it now?”
Genius-Developer-Guy: “Sure” *Never looks at the screen, or script*
Corvette-Crazy: *Runs script. Our emails blow up with error messages.*
Genius-Developer-Guy: “Hmm, guess that didn’t work. Glad I didn’t make the change.”
Developer logic is simple. Let the other person make the change. If it blows up on them you have full deniability.
The -Force was not strong in the young Padawan today.