Men Do It All The Time!

Working with men…

Man 1: Are we wearing blue or white Monday?

Man 2: I thought we were going with blue?

Man 1: Oh, I thought we were going white

Man 2: We can do white with a black tie.

Man 1: Wait. Don’t we have ties which match?

Man 2: We do! It’s the pink one.

Man 1: Don’t forget to shave.

Man 2: Will do! See you Monday!

I thought only women did the whole matchy-matchy thing but nope!  I work with weirdos!

conjoinedtwins.jpg

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Bring on the Wine!

And today’s conversation in question winner goes to….

Me: “Hey, I need some more info on the ticket you submitted.”

User: “I submitted a ticket?”

Me: “Ya, you requested a utilization report….”

User: “Are you sure it was me?”

Me: “Ya, it has your name all over it…”

User: “I haven’t submitted a ticket in ages…”

Me: “Oh, well then, I guess I can close this ticket.”

User: “Well no. If you say I submitted one then I might have. I just don’t remember it.”

Me: “Okay.”

User: “Now….what was the ticket about?”

Me: “A report. Utilization.”

User: “OH! That report!”

And this is where I take up drinking!

 

 

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

IM’s, Short and Sweet

Team meeting without the meeting part….you have to love those!

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Genius Developer Guy (Boss): 

I’m held up in a meeting.  We won’t be having our staff meeting this week unless you guys have something that we need to discuss

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Make-It-So-Mike: 

we’re good

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Corvette Crazy: 

lol, me too

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM] Me:

All good here

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Genius Developer Guy (Boss): 

yay!  no more meeting!  GET BACK TO WORK!

 

Welp…..back to work!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

My Glitch in the Matrix

code

 

So….

I have to share a story.

One particularly frustrating week of working on endless SQL’s caused a glitch in the Matrix for me.

I had been working on a couple of small reports which had to be done yesterday! And, one rather large report which was seriously pissing me off. No matter what I did I could not get the large report to run. It was error after error after error after error….enough to drive you to drinking!

I finished up the two smaller reports. Decided I’m leaving the large report for the next day because I’d had it. I was just mentally done with fighting with it.

Went home that night. Relaxed. Watched TV. Went to bed.

Woke up from a horrible dream at 3 am. In my dream I had accidentally deleted the large report. Upper management was wielding pitch forks and torches, and chasing me down a road I’d never seen.

The whole time I’m running I am retyping this huge query. Trying to get it finished before they catch me. The running and typing thing is a super power I do not posses in real life. Thankfully, I get the last line typed and …they catch me before I can tell them I’m finished…and….that’s when I woke up.

I get to work the next day. Finally stop procrastinating and decide I’d better work on the large report before there really are pitchforks and torches. So, I open the query and run it to see what errors I need to resolve and…the stupid thing runs!! Not a single error in sight.

I validate the data. It’s spot on. The client is happy. I’m confused.

I have to admit though, it is not the first time I’ve written an query in my sleep!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l