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RBL G33Khttp://workandothernonsense.comI live as a computer geek in the world of the technically challenged. By day scripting life one program at a time. At night, walking the pathways of the mundane. All of it done with a sharp wit and complete filter failure. I'm just as surprised as you at the things I say...or type. My motto is, "It was a good idea at the time!" Words to live by unless you're accused of murder and then... I'd find a better motto.

Not at all here…

February 19, 2020 by RBL G33K

hairpulling

Me…sitting at my desk…alone in the dark void of the office…

Corvette-Crazy: “Well…where’s Make-it-so-Mike?”

Me: “Not in here.”

Corvette-Crazy walks out of the office…

Three minutes later…

Corvette-Crazy: “What, Mike-it-so-Mike isn’t back yet?”

Me: “Nope, not yet.”

Corvette-Crazy: “My powers of observation are great!”

Me: “Sure, we’ll go with that…”

Corvette-Crazy walks out of the office…

Two minutes later…

Make-it-so-Mike: “Well, where’s Corvette-Crazy?”

I detail Corvette-Crazies walking in, comments, and walking out.

Make-it-so-Mike laughs and then walks out of the office….

A few seconds later both of them come walking back in to the office, make a comment, and then immediately walk back out.

I’m assuming at this point, since they have now found each other, they are off to skip lovingly through the forest, hands entwined, in eternal happiness. Either that or, they’re going to lose each other somewhere else in the building for someone else’s amusement.

Care to guess which one it will be?

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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Strippers can be Helpful

February 12, 2020 by RBL G33K

banghead2

Today’s Observation from Under My Desk…

If you mention strippers…even strippers who use walkers… men will immediately pay attention to what you’re saying.

Helpful if you really need to ask them a question.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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Men Do It All The Time!

January 31, 2020 by RBL G33K

Working with men…

Man 1: Are we wearing blue or white Monday?

Man 2: I thought we were going with blue?

Man 1: Oh, I thought we were going white

Man 2: We can do white with a black tie.

Man 1: Wait. Don’t we have ties which match?

Man 2: We do! It’s the pink one.

Man 1: Don’t forget to shave.

Man 2: Will do! See you Monday!

I thought only women did the whole matchy-matchy thing but nope!  I work with weirdos!

conjoinedtwins.jpg

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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Bring on the Wine!

January 29, 2020 by RBL G33K

And today’s conversation in question winner goes to….

Me: “Hey, I need some more info on the ticket you submitted.”

User: “I submitted a ticket?”

Me: “Ya, you requested a utilization report….”

User: “Are you sure it was me?”

Me: “Ya, it has your name all over it…”

User: “I haven’t submitted a ticket in ages…”

Me: “Oh, well then, I guess I can close this ticket.”

User: “Well no. If you say I submitted one then I might have. I just don’t remember it.”

Me: “Okay.”

User: “Now….what was the ticket about?”

Me: “A report. Utilization.”

User: “OH! That report!”

And this is where I take up drinking!

 

 

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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IM’s, Short and Sweet

January 14, 2020 by RBL G33K

Team meeting without the meeting part….you have to love those!

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Genius Developer Guy (Boss): 

I’m held up in a meeting.  We won’t be having our staff meeting this week unless you guys have something that we need to discuss

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Make-It-So-Mike: 

we’re good

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Corvette Crazy: 

lol, me too

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM] Me:

All good here

 

[‎1/‎14/‎2020 2:40 PM]  Genius Developer Guy (Boss): 

yay!  no more meeting!  GET BACK TO WORK!

 

Welp…..back to work!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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My Glitch in the Matrix

January 2, 2020 by RBL G33K

code

 

So….

I have to share a story.

One particularly frustrating week of working on endless SQL’s caused a glitch in the Matrix for me.

I had been working on a couple of small reports which had to be done yesterday! And, one rather large report which was seriously pissing me off. No matter what I did I could not get the large report to run. It was error after error after error after error….enough to drive you to drinking!

I finished up the two smaller reports. Decided I’m leaving the large report for the next day because I’d had it. I was just mentally done with fighting with it.

Went home that night. Relaxed. Watched TV. Went to bed.

Woke up from a horrible dream at 3 am. In my dream I had accidentally deleted the large report. Upper management was wielding pitch forks and torches, and chasing me down a road I’d never seen.

The whole time I’m running I am retyping this huge query. Trying to get it finished before they catch me. The running and typing thing is a super power I do not posses in real life. Thankfully, I get the last line typed and …they catch me before I can tell them I’m finished…and….that’s when I woke up.

I get to work the next day. Finally stop procrastinating and decide I’d better work on the large report before there really are pitchforks and torches. So, I open the query and run it to see what errors I need to resolve and…the stupid thing runs!! Not a single error in sight.

I validate the data. It’s spot on. The client is happy. I’m confused.

I have to admit though, it is not the first time I’ve written a query in my sleep!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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A Geeky Little Christmas

December 24, 2019 by RBL G33K

 

iStock-1083978964.jpg

The Holiday’s are here and since I’m a (wo)man of few words. I thought I’d share some geeky funnies.

xmas.png

 

d8c32832a0a0c3bcdbea15c20f891274--funny-christmas-cartoons-christmas-jokes.jpg

c1ed3873c55c92f78477bad071881fd3

 

And last, but not least, Geek and Poke…because everything is better with Geek and Poke.

geeks-holidays.jpg

May the best of 2019 be the worst of your 2020. Happy Holiday’s All and a Blessed New Year!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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The Scariest Thing

December 20, 2019 by RBL G33K

 

images

What’s the creepiest/downright scariest thing to happen to you or someone else in your hometown/city?

I ran across this question today and it sparked an old memory.

When I was 17 or 18 my dad, and a friend, owned a garage/gas station. One of the guys who worked for them, Frank, was obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. I mean stalking obsessed.

She started dating someone else and Frank went off the rails. Shot her, her mother, and father.

I remember my dad calling me at home and telling me to lock the doors, windows, and to call him if I saw Frank. He didn’t tell me why at the time and I didn’t ask. My dad was always calm and collected so it was out of the norm to hear him a bit panicky.

I later found out about the shooting and Frank driving down our alley trying to hide. The stupid thing was….Frank drove a canary yellow corvette. The police found him rather quickly – Thankfully!

I cannot imagine what his ex-girlfriend went through, or her family, but she is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet.

Have you ever experienced anything like this?

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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My Nightmare

December 13, 2019 by RBL G33K

My Nightmare….

b1a493ac-008d-45e0-8dee-b967f981fdc2taskbar

It takes 40 minutes to shut down on a good day and I haven’t saved since the last Tuesday of last month!!!

I may just have to take up drinking….anyone have $.75 for a Mt. Dew I could borrow?

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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Tomato…Potato…

December 11, 2019 by RBL G33K

Statement of the day…..

tomato

 

What exactly makes someone a baby tomato?

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

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