Author Archives

RBL G33Khttp://workandothernonsense.comI live as a computer geek in the world of the technically challenged. By day scripting life one program at a time. At night, walking the pathways of the mundane. All of it done with a sharp wit and complete filter failure. I'm just as surprised as you at the things I say...or type. My motto is, "It was a good idea at the time!" Words to live by unless you're accused of murder and then... I'd find a better motto.

My Glitch in the Matrix

by

code

 

So….

I have to share a story.

One particularly frustrating week of working on endless SQL’s caused a glitch in the Matrix for me.

I had been working on a couple of small reports which had to be done yesterday! And, one rather large report which was seriously pissing me off. No matter what I did I could not get the large report to run. It was error after error after error after error….enough to drive you to drinking!

I finished up the two smaller reports. Decided I’m leaving the large report for the next day because I’d had it. I was just mentally done with fighting with it.

Went home that night. Relaxed. Watched TV. Went to bed.

Woke up from a horrible dream at 3 am. In my dream I had accidentally deleted the large report. Upper management was wielding pitch forks and torches, and chasing me down a road I’d never seen.

The whole time I’m running I am retyping this huge query. Trying to get it finished before they catch me. The running and typing thing is a super power I do not posses in real life. Thankfully, I get the last line typed and …they catch me before I can tell them I’m finished…and….that’s when I woke up.

I get to work the next day. Finally stop procrastinating and decide I’d better work on the large report before there really are pitchforks and torches. So, I open the query and run it to see what errors I need to resolve and…the stupid thing runs!! Not a single error in sight.

I validate the data. It’s spot on. The client is happy. I’m confused.

I have to admit though, it is not the first time I’ve written a query in my sleep!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

A Geeky Little Christmas

by

 

iStock-1083978964.jpg

The Holiday’s are here and since I’m a (wo)man of few words. I thought I’d share some geeky funnies.

xmas.png

 

d8c32832a0a0c3bcdbea15c20f891274--funny-christmas-cartoons-christmas-jokes.jpg

c1ed3873c55c92f78477bad071881fd3

 

And last, but not least, Geek and Poke…because everything is better with Geek and Poke.

geeks-holidays.jpg

May the best of 2019 be the worst of your 2020. Happy Holiday’s All and a Blessed New Year!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

The Scariest Thing

by

 

images

What’s the creepiest/downright scariest thing to happen to you or someone else in your hometown/city?

I ran across this question today and it sparked an old memory.

When I was 17 or 18 my dad, and a friend, owned a garage/gas station. One of the guys who worked for them, Frank, was obsessed with his ex-girlfriend. I mean stalking obsessed.

She started dating someone else and Frank went off the rails. Shot her, her mother, and father.

I remember my dad calling me at home and telling me to lock the doors, windows, and to call him if I saw Frank. He didn’t tell me why at the time and I didn’t ask. My dad was always calm and collected so it was out of the norm to hear him a bit panicky.

I later found out about the shooting and Frank driving down our alley trying to hide. The stupid thing was….Frank drove a canary yellow corvette. The police found him rather quickly – Thankfully!

I cannot imagine what his ex-girlfriend went through, or her family, but she is one of the sweetest people you’ll ever meet.

Have you ever experienced anything like this?

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

All Grinched Up

by

Halloween decorating was a great success for the IT department…unfortunately. Since it was a success a repeat performance has been requested for the Christmas season.

Problem.

The IT department is Grinch-afied. We do not want to decorate!

We exhausted our energy on Halloween because…well…Halloween is our favorite. The dark dungeon of IT should be the first clue for anyone who doubts.

But….

The office receives a pizza party if all departments decorate. ALL departments. Ugh!

So…. How do you motivate an unmotived and bah humbuggish department to decorate?

I have no idea! 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

Ideally Stuffed

by

I hope everyones Thanksgiving was awesome! They rolled me out the door so, I would say mine was a complete success. The best…no work!

So, I thought I’d share a friends work. (I seem to be on this kick lately, but hey, you have to share the awesome stuff, right?)

If you are a geek of geeks like I am. You have to check out idealcomics.net.

banner

This great group of guys is from my home town. They work their butts off and they are good! They’re also pretty cool but don’t tell them I said anything to that effect lol

Check’em out! Show’em some love! And for goodness sakes, keep me AWAY from the turkey! Ugh!

Happy Holidays All!

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

SQL Clause is Coming to Town

by

He’s making a database.

He’s querying it twice.

SELECT * FROM People WHERE Behavior = ‘Nice’

SQL Clause is coming to town.

560.jpg

 

I am going to have this stuck in my head the rest of the day!

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l

I T-Shirt You Not!

by

I’m not a salesperson. I’m a computer geek. But…

A couple of people I know well started a T-Shirt shop. They have some pretty funny items. Thought I’d pass it on in case you were…like me…a huge T-Shirt fan.

Wilder Things 101

No purchase necessary but, they may bring you a smile.

 

Yours Faithfully,
R3b3l G33k

R3b3l