User: “I can’t get in to such-and-such application”
Me: “Okay, let’s take a look” I remote in and….user is on the main log in screen.
Me: “Oh, so do you need help logging in to the computer?”
User: “No, I have my information to do that…”
Me: ….waiting for user to log in.
User: “Do you want me to log in?”
Me: *Thinking to myself: “No, I need to work on my psychic ability to see what happens next.”*
Me: Saying politely, “Yes, please.”
User: Finally logs in and….
Me: “What application are you having problems accessing?”
User: “Well, I have my sign in information for this application, this application, this one, and also this one.”
Me: “Is it one of those applications you’re having problems with?”
User: “No, I haven’t signed in to it before.”
Me: “Is it one of the applications you access through Citrix?” Opens Citrix for user to sign in.
User: “No, but I will need to be able to sign in there.”
Me: Let’s user know what username/password will get him signed in to Citrix.
Me: “Is the application one of the icons on your desktop?”
User: “I’m not sure. It should be.”
Me: *Waits for user to click on icon…*
Me: “Which of these icons is the one you need?” *Hovers over each icon slowly…trying to remain calm*
User: “I don’t think it is any of those.”
Me: *Screams profanities in my head because I just want to know what application he can’t get into*
Me: “Do you know which application it is?”
User: “I think so-and-so is calling someone.”
Me: *Really wanting to ask, “what does that have to do with the application?” while also screaming inside my head.*
Me: “Oh, are they calling someone to find out what application?”
User: “I don’t know…maybe.”
Mysterious voice in the Background: “Users name, they need to install the application, but you have your log in information, right?”
User: “I think so. They gave me several.”
Disembodied voice again: “Well, what applications did they give you passwords for?”
User: “I’m not sure. There were several of them.”
Me: “Users name, it sounds like someone is helping you with the application in the background. Is there anything else I can do to help?”
User: “Ya, so-and-so is getting the information. I think we’re good.”
Me: “Okay, if you have any additional problems please let us know.”
Disembodied voice in the background: “Now, which application were you trying to log in to? You have it on your computer right, or do we need to install it?”
User: “I think it is on the computer but, it may need to be installed. I don’t know.”
Me: *hanging up the phone quickly, praying he doesn’t call back!*
I still have absolutely no idea what application he was trying to log in to. I’m not even sure there was an application…
Schrodinger’s application – it is both an application and not an application until it is found or not found.