Observations Amidst an Infrastructure Meeting….
Bossman: “So, do you want to set that up on Linux?”
….”Oh, ya, Ubuntu!”
“No, openSUSE, or we could try Scientific Linux! Haven’t played with that one yet.”
“We really need donuts…jelly filled…or…Oh! Cream filled!”
“There is always Oracle Linux….powdered, powdered donuts are best. Or, cake, chocolate covered cake donuts.”
“I think I’ll just do Kali Linux. There are some features we could use for security, but I’d have to go with the cake donuts. They’re the best.”
“Nobody knows Kali, it’s a gimmick. Anyway it is almost lunch. How about pizza?”
“I know Kali! And Mexican food would be better…mmmm…pork chili!”
Bossman: “Can you all stop talking about food and decide. Is it Kali or what?”
“Mexican food and yes, Kali, since I’m the one working with it. Plus, we really need Monsters or red bull for this afternoon.”
“So, are we going to lunch now?”
“Ya, Wonderful House?”
“Meet you all there!”
Meetings should not be held around lunch time if they are truly meant to be productive. An issue we’ll surely discuss as we go for Chinese. Wonderful House here we come! Be afraid, be very afraid! 🙂
I received an email today, 10/11/2018, from Schwan’s Home Service.
Apparently, they’re not going to make it to my house on their regularly scheduled appointment day of 10/05/2018.
I am so thankful they notified me! I would have been truly worried…..
Dear Technically Challenged End User,
Submitting a ticket on an issue you are experiencing is IT’s preferred method of communication. The fact that we ask you, “Have you submitted a ticket?”, when you approach us should be a clue. However, we understand technology can be challenging. Sending an email, with details of your issue, to email@example.com can be complicated. The other three hundred emails you send in a week are far less complicated. We understand.
Submitting a ticket on your issue also robs us of your glorious visits to our personal space because, you know IT people just LOVE strangers in their personal space. We especially enjoy it when you stand there…staring at us…. while we’re working….and then….finally ask, “Are you busy? Can you look at something?”
“Why, No Jill! We are never to busy for you! Let me drop everything to look at your mission critical issue!”
We will then patiently follow you back to your desk. Where, we will quietly point out the button, checkbox, drop down, or field you forgot to fill in. We may even turn it off, and back on again, like we’ve recommended…repeatedly. We will do whatever we need to do to resolve your critical, highly important issue.
We will do it. We will smile. We will walk away, and smile more because, we know….
The URGENT report you requested this morning. The one we were working on. The one we have now lost all train of thought on. The one we will have to read every line of code we’ve written to re-establish our lost train of thought. That report…that report will be completed some time next month. We could have wrapped it up today but….you couldn’t be bothered to submit a ticket!
The IT Team
Observations from Under the Desk….
In the daily hostage situations we call ‘at work.’ There are high points and low points.
There are, however, always ‘Ah-ha!’ points.
It is the ‘Ah-ha!’ points which keep us coming back.
Sword wielding, marker throwing, and scissor acrobatics are also points. They’re just not the point I’m pointing too today.
Today’s Random Statement….
Poor Innocent Soul: “I’m going to propose….”
In Unison Response: “…but, we’re all married!?”
One must always be prepared for the sharp minds in IT.
In today’s IT Team Meeting we learned…
Boss: “IRM is affecting a users email and…”
Genius: “Italy’s most famous lover died while having sex with a 23 year old.”
Me…cause Analyst: “How does one quantify who the most famous lover is in a country? Is there a measure?”
Corvette-Crazy: “I’m sure there’s a measure…”
Boss: “A measure of a man…wait, let’s not go that direction…”
Genius: “He was 63 and had 6000 lovers; starting when he was 17.”
Me: “That’s how many lovers a year?”
Corvette-Crazy: “He would have had to sex every three days….”
Me: “I don’t like enough people for that kind of interaction…”
Boss: “You know we really need to fix the IRM issue and look at Active Directory. Do we have that slated for tonight?”
And that, my friends, is why people never understand what IT people are talking about.